When Body Image Becomes Inherited: Breaking the Cycle from Mother to Daughter

“Are you sure you want to eat that?”

“You’d be so much prettier if you lost a few pounds.”

“I can’t eat today. I’m being good.”

“No second servings. Watch your figure.”

“I need to lose weight before I buy anything new.”

“Let’s go on a diet together!”

“I can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained. I feel disgusting.”

“Don’t wear that it doesn’t flatter your body.”

“I wish I had your metabolism. You better enjoy it while it lasts.”

Have you ever caught yourself feeling guilty for what you ate or buying clothes that are too small, hoping one day you’ll fit into them? While social media can influence how we see ourselves, for many of us, it didn’t start online. It started at home with our mothers.

Many women grew up watching their mothers criticize their own bodies, skip meals, or constantly try to lose weight. And without even realizing it, those messages were often passed down; sometimes directly, sometimes through silence or side comments. Little girls learned early on that being “good” meant being smaller.

But here’s the truth: our mothers were taught to shrink, too. Their self-criticism wasn’t always coming from judgment it often came from what they were taught in their own homes. They were told to stay quiet, to look pretty, to keep their bodies under control. This isn’t about blaming them. It’s about recognizing the cycle so we can begin to shift it for ourselves and for the next generation.

Try this healing practice:
Write down some of the body image messages you heard growing up things like “Don’t eat that,” “You’re getting chubby,” or even your mother’s own self-talk. Then next to each one, write a new message rooted in compassion and truth.
For example:
→ “My body deserves love at all stages.”
→ “I enjoy food that nourishes me.”
→ “I deserve clothes that fit me now. Not later.”

Another practice:
Stand in front of the mirror and begin to rewrite the internal dialogue that was modeled for you. Say things like:
→ “I am worthy at any size.”
→ “I don’t need to earn love by shrinking myself.”

And when you hear body shaming comments like “Gordita” or “Estás muy flaca, necesitas comer más” (“You’re too skinny, you need to eat more”) gently speak up. Remind your family that appearance doesn’t define worth, and that how we talk about food and bodies matters deeply.

Healing this cycle takes time, but it starts with awareness, compassion, and a willingness to do things differently.