25 Things I’ve Learned in My First 5 Years as a Trauma Therapist
When I first became a therapist, I thought healing would follow a clear path. But sitting with hundreds of stories of pain, strength, survival, and hope, has shown me that healing is anything but linear.
It’s raw. It’s slow sometimes. And most of all, it’s deeply personal.
I work with adults healing from childhood trauma, sexual abuse, domestic violence, and emotional wounds, especially when those wounds are tied to family, culture, or identity. The people I’ve worked with have taught me more than any classroom ever could.
Here’s what I’ve learned and what I carry with me into every session.
What Healing Has Taught Me (and What You Can Expect in My Space)
You don’t have to tell me every detail of your trauma to heal. Sometimes that can be retraumatizing, and we don’t need to go there to do the work.
It’s not always the abuse alone that’s the most painful it’s what happened afterward. The silence, the blame, the way people treated you.
Most sexual abuse doesn’t happen by strangers. It’s usually someone you know. And that can make it even harder to talk about.
Leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time for someone. Safety planning is everything.
I won’t pressure you to leave your abuser. I’ll be a safe place while you make the decision that feels right for you.
The therapy room should feel like a space where you get your power back not where it’s taken from you again.
I’m not here to investigate or “prove” what happened. I believe you. That’s enough.
Everyone’s experience with abuse is different and all of it is valid.
Trauma doesn’t just live in your memories. It shows up in your body, your reactions, your thoughts.
Your body has been doing its best to protect you. We just need to teach it better ways now.
The parts of you that coped in painful or messy ways were trying to keep you safe. We can honor them while building new tools.
Shame was never yours to carry.
You don’t have to forgive your abuser. Sometimes that expectation causes more harm than healing.
If I ever have to break confidentiality, it’s only to keep you safe not to betray your trust.
You are the expert on your own life. I bring the tools of psychology. We’re a team in this.
Culture deeply shapes trauma and healing. We can’t separate the two.
Generational trauma is real. But so is generational healing.
Not every client stays in therapy. That doesn’t mean the work failed it just means they took what they needed at the time.
“I believe you” can be the most powerful thing a survivor hears.
Safety comes first in trauma work. Without it, healing can’t happen.
Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days you’ll move forward, and some days you’ll feel like you’re going backward. That’s normal.
If you find yourself using old coping strategies, it’s not failure. It’s just your nervous system doing what it knows.
Self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools in healing. And yes, it’s hard but it’s worth it.
As a therapist, I’ll never know everything. The best thing I can do is stay open, curious, and always learning.
If you're reading this and wondering if therapy is for you, know that you don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to come in with a clear plan or a perfect story. You just need a place to land. A space to feel safe. A person who sees you without judgment.
That’s the kind of space I offer.
Whether you're navigating trauma, identity, family wounds, or learning how to trust yourself again. I'm here to support you through it.
You’re not broken. You’re not too much. You’re not alone.
With warmth,
Pearl Velasquez, LPC
Resilient Therapy PLLC
